Description

Consent is a very unexplored area in parenting in a lot of cases, and since it is a cultural moment in the news and media lately, we wanted to touch on this topic this week. Where can we seek more consent with our children?

We are breaking this episode down into three areas.

1) Physical consent. This is one that culture is talking a lot about lately. Should kids be required to show physical affection for people if they don’t want to? Should kids be forced to say things like “I’m Sorry,” “Please,” “Thank you,” or even, “I love you?”

2) When can we seek more consent with our children? Should you expect your kids to share their toys with other children, or should you require it?

3) What are the gray areas? We ran out of time to touch on this one, so make sure to listen next week for Consent Part 2!

Thank you guys for all the outpouring of support on our first show! We look forward to providing you more content. Make sure to check out onefreefamily.com/support and help us out if you can! And, don’t forget to subscribe at onefreefamily.com/subscribe!

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Meet the hosts

Rodger is a long-time libertarian activist, the founder of PaxLibertas Productions, host of The LAVA Flow podcast, Vice Chairman of the NHLP, Regional Captain for the Foundation for New Hampshire Independence and former Chairman and Secretary of the Libertarian Party of Arkansas. Rodger has also served on the national Libertarian Party Judicial Committee.

discussions

  • Many of the folks who aren’t familiar with peaceful parenting would probably like to see real world examples, and parents who have already adopted the ideas would probably love to hear other parents’ ideas and methods for dealing with specific situations.   Let’s add some discussion of practice to the great discussions surrounding theory that are already ongoing.   I think it would be really constructive for a discussion to start like this: My kid is doing X. Do you guys have ideas or solutions for dealing with it?   I’ll get as much use out of this type of conversation as anyone, since my son is 2.5 and my daughter is seven weeks. So I’d love to see some posts!

    Jump to Discussion Post 17 replies
  • I currently have a 3 and 1 year old. I have been at ends searching for liberty minded books to read to them. Does anyone have any suggestions. I also teach school ages so please feel free to throw in books for older children.

    Jump to Discussion Post 8 replies
  • I recently read Hoppe’s Democracy: The God That Failed and it brings up a number of questions. I sent him an email with these questions and am still waiting for a reply. But I thought I’d put them out there in this group as well. There are five series of questions and this is the first batch. Is a covenant community binding for all time? Or can a member of a covenant society secede from it just as he ought to be able to secede from the state? Can the terms of the covenant be changed in the future and if so how? Can the covenant specify that all rules and restrictions covered in the covenant can be changed through democratic means – in other words through voting? And if so, can they do specify that this be done by simple majority rule or other ways as specified in the covenant? Further to this – am I correct in assuming that the terms of the covenant inhere to the property and not the person?  For example, I own property in a strata development which is covered by such a covenant. It binds me to the bylaws of the Strata Corporation and these rules can be changed by the members democratically at a meeting. The strata council enforces the rules, manages the budget, etc. I also pay strata fees which are analagous to taxes if this were a municipality. (The strata fees are actually more than the municipal taxes I pay, though the city provides a lot more services.)  And these rules inhere in the property, so if I sell it, the buyer is bound by the covenant. But I cannot secede from the covenant. In effect, a covenant community is really a mini-government, but organized as a contract rather than as a political entity. But in practice, is there really any difference? I have written on my blog about this a few times. Most notably here: http://jollylibertarian.blogspot.ca/2015/10/private-government.html and here: http://jollylibertarian.blogspot.ca/2015/10/consent-of-governed.html and here: https://jollylibertarian.liberty.me/is-consent-a-sufficient-condition-for-a-society-to-be-considered-libertarian/  The latter contradicts the first two as I have had some change in thought on this. Feedback appreciated.

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  • This is basically a response to: Beyond ‘no means no’: the future of campus rape prevention is ‘yes means yes’ “No means no” and “Yes means yes” may seem like good, simple, and commonsense advice, but I can’t imagine anyone who honestly observes their social interactions can’t see that most communication (especially in the realms of “seduction” and “attraction”) is completely nonverbal. To start, let me begin by saying that I used to be super careful about ever crossing another person’s boundaries without their permission. In reality, I was too careful. I used to never initiate with women ever. I was too afraid to do something that they didn’t want. If a girl wanted to be with me, she had to do all the initiation (I somehow magically got some action this way, but it ultimately hurt my chances). As a result, I can count on more than one hand when I’ve been in situations where women are giving me a 100% nonverbal “yes,” but I never acted on it, because I never got a verbal “yes.” It got so bad, they would even contact me later in the night and say things like, “You know, you could’ve kissed me/fucked me if you wanted.” Consent is a much bigger grey area than feminists want you to believe. But ignoring how consent usually happens in the real world is ultimately destructive toward an honest conversation about what “consent” really means. To bring this around full circle, this also means that if a girl is giving a verbal “Yes,” but a nonverbal “No” (hesitation in her voice, closed body language, doesn’t seem “into” it) it’s probably better to lay off even though you technically have verbal consent. Please Note: This was originally a post for straight men, but feel free to switch the genders however you like – it’s not relevant.

    Jump to Discussion Post 4 replies
  • Everyone seems to have an opinion when it comes to child behavior and I would really appreciate it if only people who had professional experience working with kids responded. I just started working in a public elementary school at their before school day care. I don’t teach anything. I mainly supervise the kids at the day care, walk them to the cafeteria for breakfast, and then walk them to their classroom. It’s in a nice area in San Francisco. I have one student that is just really bad and violent. Just today, he choked another kid for cutting in front of him in line when we were walking to the cafeteria. Then I heard him threaten to punch another kid “in the face and the eye.” Then he started a fight with another student but the other one grabbed his arms so they were just locked in that position. The kid is only 5 years old! I really didn’t know what to do so I just split them up and let it go. I only work there for two hours a day and everything that happened occurred within 20 minutes. So my question is, what would you do in this situation? Why do you think some kids are so violent? Is there another explanation beyond experiencing violence at home?

    Jump to Discussion Post 5 replies