I’ve got one… and it doesn’t make much sense to most people – so I fully expect to get roasted.
When he puts in the disclaimer: Any variation of “My children always come first” or “My top priority is my children”.
A: He’s likely a divorced dad. This typically means he gets the kids on the weekends, because that’s typically how it works… sometimes he gets half-time, or something better than weekends, but not usually. So, what I read between the lines is “I will drop everything and run to my dramatic ex-wife at her every beck and call because… the kids.” He’s essentially saying, you must be ok if I’m on the phone with my ex for 3 hours every night to talk about little Timmy’s head cold.
B: If he truly does make his entire life about his children, why is he on a dating site? Go play with your kids, man. Come back when you’re ready and able to focus on a relationship. It’s ok if you’re not, I’m not judging – I just happen to be ready, and you’re not.
C: Mature relationships balance family life. The adult relationship is equally as important as how the adults relate to the children. EQUAL. If you don’t understand that you’re relationship with your partner is just as important, I’ll pass.
D: As a libertarian, I cherish the individual. If your identity is singular to fatherhood, you’ve lost something of yourself. Again, not judging – it happens to women all the time. Come back when you’re you again.
Now… I’m a mom, so most people think I’m hypocritical. A widowed mom of 2, I don’t get weekends “off” I didn’t choose to be single, my kids truly are my greatest responsibility as their sole parent. My children are my number one priority, and I get why people throw that in as a disclaimer (sort of). I don’t, though. I will say I’m a mom, I’ll mention that I have 2, and how old they are – that statement alone is all that’s needed. I do not need to qualify my motherhood with any level of “priority” someone else must learn to accept. It’s implied, and obvious.
Any man worthy of my time is going to understand the scheduling conflicts, and the fact that my kids must be treated with the same respect I am. The disclaimer simply screams to me “I’m not sure how to balance dating and being a dad.”